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[15 Jun 2005|02:48pm] |
i hope youre happy
i hope youre doing fine
i hope youre choking in your sleep.
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[06 Jun 2005|04:12pm] |
this summer is going to own. :)
well so far the definates are:
Rob and Erika in July :)
I'm staying at Rob's house and i have to find a way to even my time out to spend that week with both of them. Theres going to be many pictures taken. Im so excited. i love them both <3
If anyone lives close to me and wants to hang out this summer, hit a brother up :)
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[06 Jun 2005|12:39pm] |
yesterday was good.
i went to work at 7. katie was there which made it even more enjoyable. We had our fun then i said something and she got hurt. :( i didnt meant to hurt her. i felt so shitty and i was scare that she was never going to talk to me again.
so from 8:30-10 she didnt talk to me and it made me so depressed. i texted her and everything. tried talking to her and she just told me to get out of her face. ouch i felt so shitty.
then she left and when she got home we started texting and she forgave me i think. i broke down crying at work. it sucked. i dont know last night made me realize how much i care about her and yeah i dont want that to happen again.
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[04 Jun 2005|07:19pm] |
Glassjaw
The band is incredible.
Current Lineup:
Daryl Palumbo - singer
Justin Beck - Guitar
Larry Gorman - Drums
Dave Allen - Bass
Todd Weinstock - Guitar (he just quit but im keeping him in here goddamn it)
This band has affected my life greatly. Oh, how this band has affected my life. Back in 9th grade, Tom Guy wrote down on a piece of paper the words
Glassjaw-Siberian Kiss
Download them, they're right up your alley
My how fucking Tom was right
After that song, i became an addict. Downloading any and every song i could by this band. Then i started reading the lyrics, and oh my god. Daryl Palumbo is a fucking genius. The way he uses his words and metaphors haha i love him. They have been my favorite band since 2000. In 2002, i finally found their cds on sale in Florida while seeing my at the time girlfriend, Melissa. I bought both their cds Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence and Worship and Tribute I had both of the cds burned but never saw them on sale up here.
Ever since i bought those cds in June 2002, they have been the soundtrack to the next 3 years of my life. Right when the guitar rips in on "Pretty Lush" to when Daryl plays the piano on the hidden track on eyewtkas described exactly how i felt in any situation. But Worship and Tribute kind of covered different topics, he didnt curve away from the relationship problems too much but he got deeper with his lyrics and i feel he got into his health more than anything. I instantly related to those lyrics due to a similiar problem.
Their CD's have helped me through so much these past 5 years and i love them for it. I dont know what i'd ever do if they ever came around here! They've only been here once and i couldnt go because i had to work. It was with The Used and the Blood Brothers. I wanted to kill myself.
But yes, They have been there through the thick and thin. The depressing and the orgasmicness that is my life. For many people, you already know that i love them with my heart. To other people, you now know.
AND!
to you people who havent listened to them yet or havent indulged too deeply into them, im going to provide some song choices to download.
siberian kiss this song helps me through anything and has remained my favorite song for the past 5 years.
Star Above My Bed/Star Under My Bed these are two similar songs with minor differances.
Pretty Lush
Motel of the White Locust my how this song makes me want to kick someone in the face.
when one eight becomes two zeros this song makes me feel so much better when im mad/sad.
majour haha this song has an line in it <3
everything you ever wanted to know about silence this song makes me cry everytime i listen to it
modern love story really fast pased song clocked in a little over 1 minute. It features Ray Cappo and is amazing <3.
Convectuoso oh my god, this song is so amazing. One of their shining moments. Its not an any cd, it was a b-side from "worship and tribute" i think it wouldve been a perfect way to end it but they did good with ending it with "two tabs of mescaline".
mu empire makes me cry also. its talking about his death.
must've run all day haha also makes me cry! god im gay
the gillette calvacade of sports another crowning moment from "worship and tribute"
tip your bartender makes me dance
ape dos mil this song was originally called "the jeff buckley song" haha it sounds like him as well.
and to end it...
hidden track quite possibly the most beautiful song ive ever heard. not lyrics wise haha since the chorus is daryl whispering "fuck you" but the piano he plays is good. i love him
thus concludes my ranting. I decided to write this to show the people out there what they are missing.
They literally saved my life <3 and they will always remain one of my favorite bands possibly until the day i die.
Oh yeah, check out Daryl's other band "Head Automatica" even though im sure most of you have heard of them.
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[04 Jun 2005|01:43pm] |
1) Your gender: Male
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Straight
(3) Single?: Yeah
(4) Want to be?: No :-[
(5) Your birth day: June 2nd
(6) Age you act: 20
(7) Age you wish you were: 20
(8) Your height: 5'7
(9) The color of your eyes: Green
(10) Happy with it?: Yesh
(11) The color of your hair: Black
(12) Happy with it?: Yesh
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right
(14) Your living arrangement?: With the parents for the summer
(27) Your family: sucks.
(30) Piercings?: None
(31) Tattoos?: None
(32) Obsessions?: Music
(35) Do you speak another language? French
(36) Have a favorite quote?: That's Sexy?
(37) Do you have a webpage?: fucking myspace, thats it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: Yesh
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yesh
(40) Do you have any secrets?: DUH!
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Sometimes
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: Yesh
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: blowing my money on cds
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: that im adorable and sweet and i have awesome hair
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Tales from a Teenage Broken Heart
(46) What's your biggest fear?: Being Alone, most definately
(47) Can you sing: i think so
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? haha please, i am cool.
(49) Are you a loner?: nope
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: i think so
(52) Are you a daredevil?: no
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Yesh
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: Passive, but aggressive with certain things
(55) Have you got in a fist fight?: never fought in my life, except that one guy who accousted me
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength: I'm very strong emotionally and don't crack under pressure. weakness: I leave myself open to get hurt easily
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: im not sure
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose? its a tie, between love and creativity
(59) How do you vent?: I write and then scream what i just wrote down with the pure emotion and hatred that im feeling at the time
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: no
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? a couple
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: yesh
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Not to take things so seriously, if something bad happens then oh well... get over it.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: my hair
(65) And least?: my feet
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: so im told
67) Are you confident?: to an extent
68) whos your favorite fictional character? : Shaun from Shaun of the Dead. I admire him in more ways than one. mainly because he reminds me of me
(69) Do people know how you feel?: no because i lie to them, unless the person im feeling that feeling for is asking me but other than that, no way jose
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: nope
(71) Smoke?: Nope
(72) Do drugs?: Nope
(73) Read the newspaper?: Yeah
(74) Pray?: only when called upon
(75) Go to church? not since i was a child
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: duh
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals? Grumpy, that Melissa bought me, i love that thing so much. He brings back memories, so many memories which i miss
(78) Take walks in the rain?: yes
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: no
(80) Drive?: yesh
(81) Like to drive fast?: yesh
HAVE YOU EVER
(82) Liked your voice?: Nope
(83) Hurt yourself?: Not really
(84) Been out of the country?: yesh
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Yeah
(86) Burped?: are you kidding me? haha
(87) Been unfaithful?: nope even though everyone seems to do it to me
(88) Been in love?: i am right now :)
(89) Done drugs?: yesh
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: yes
(92) Had a surgery?: eye surgery i used to be cross eyed
(93) Ran away from home?: no
(94) Played strip poker: yeah
(95) Gotten beaten up?: nope
(97) Been picked on?: not that i can remember, except when people called me titty
(98) Been on stage?: yes
(99) Been so drunk that you don’t remember what happened?: nope
(100) Slept outdoors?: yeah
(101) Thought about suicide?: i'd be lying if i said i didnt think about it, but theres no need for it now, i think im happy.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: all the time
(103) If yes, what is your record?: oh man, 6 days i think it was, i was half dead
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: yesh
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? Yeah
(107) Slept all day?: yesh
(108) Killed someone?: yeah, im a real toughy
(109) Made out with a stranger?: no
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: no i dont like throwing my sex around
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: nope
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no
(114) Been betrayed? oh yes
(115) Had a dream that came true?: yes
(116) Broken the law?: yes
(117) Met a famous person?: no
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no
(146) Stolen anything?: yesh
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: Yes
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: no
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: no
(150) Considered religious vocation?: yesh
(151) Pooped your pants?: lmao some kid at my work did the other night, he sharted
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes
CLOTHES
(154) Shoe brand?: im a suck for converse
(155) Brand of clothing?: whatever makes me look good
(156) Cologne/perfume?: axe haha im a manly man
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: clothes silly
(159) Wear hats?: only at work
(161) Wear make-up?: no
(162) Favorite place to shop?: oh god, im not sure
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: jeans
(164) Are you trendy?: no
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: yes
MORE MISSIN NUMBERS
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title: no?
(183) Do you remember your first love?: yesh
(184) Still love him/her?: of course, ill always love her
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: no
(186) What do you find romantic?: alot of things
(187) Turn-on?: eyes and lips
(188) Turn-off?: that phat ass son
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: not all the time
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: I would tell them that their interest is flattering, but that I wasn't interested in them the same way.
(201) you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: Knowing someone is better I'd say, blind dates are okay though.
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: Sure, girls should be able to if they want to, those sexy minx's
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: no
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: that is true
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: they play too many games with my heart
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: money
(208) Do you consider your significant other hot?: dont have one, but the person im talking to is
(209) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: glare at them and want to talk to them but never do it
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON
(210) That haunted you?: nevermind
(211) You wanted to kill?: haha too many
(212) That you laughed at?: erika
(213) That laughed at you?: erika
(214) That turned you on?: fucking katie♥
(215) You went shopping with?: joel and samantha
(216) That broke your heart?: im not sure
(217) To disappoint you?: cant remember
(218) To ask you out?: ashleigh?
(219) To make you cry?: katie
(220) To brighten up your day?: katie
(221) That you thought about?: travis
(222) Last person saw a movie with?: joel
(223) Last person u talked to on the phone?: katie
(224) Last person u talked to through IM?: erika
(225) Last person you saw?: my step mom
(226) last thing you lost?: my fucking chap stick
(227) last thing u thought was completely insane?: naked midgets dancing around travis
(228) last thing you wanted to be?: in love and be completely happy with that person
(229) last person u told off?: that 30 year old guy
(230) someone u trusted?: katie
(231) last person you turned down?: im not sure
(234) Smiled?: i smile too much
(235) Laughed?: i laugh too much also
(236) Cried?: a few days ago
(237) Bought something?: yesterday, a book
(238) Danced?: this morning
(239) Were sarcastic?: all the time
(240) hugged someone?: yesterday
(241) Talked to an ex?: on my birthday
(242) Watched your fave movie?: last night
(243) Had a nightmare?: on tuesday i think
(245) Talked on the phone?: last night
(246) Listened to the radio?: like 3 days ago
(247) Watched TV?: this morning
248) Went out?: everyday
(249) Helped someone?: last night
(250) Were mean?: never
(251) Sang?: right now, underoath baby
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: last week
(253) Said "I love you"?: this morning
(254) Missed someone?: right now
(255) Fought with a family member?: im not sure
(256) Fought with a friend?: i never fight with my friends
(257) Had a serious conversation?: a couple nights ago
(258) Got drunk?: never
(259) Had sex?: back in feburary
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[04 Jun 2005|10:49am] |
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music |
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fear before the march of flames - given to dreams |
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so my birthday was awesome. did some fun things. im going to new jersey in july to visit rob/erika. its going to be fun :) im listening to fear before the march of flames in my undies. want to see? id take a picture but i dont want to get the girl's juices flowing if you know what i mean. sometime i will.sometime <3
haha i think im going to go masturbate. (tsk tsk) i cant help it, im a horny twenty-something haha im a fucking 20 something!
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[02 Jun 2005|11:06am] |
i love waking up to 50 text messages, then i had to delete them all. then i got an additional 27 alll of them wishing me happy birthday. along with over 10 voicemails. i love my friends <3.
well so far so good. my tummy hurts. haha i dont know why. i might hang out with katie but im not sure, she has other things to attend to.
im going to the mall with travis. im goign to ask every girl for a hug since its my birthday. should be fun :) then samantha wants to take me shopping. then my mom wants me to come out to her house.
anybody want to give me birthday sex?
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[30 May 2005|11:35am] |
okay. so like im in love with her. and shes in love with me. but we cant be together right now. and it sucks.
why cant love just be simple? i dont want this to hurt but it does, to the point where it drives me to tears like it is now. i dont know why im like this. shes just so amazing. i just have to wait to it out i guess. i hope i dont have to wait tooo long. i mean ive never been this infatuated with anyone in my entire life and i love it then again i loathe it due to the fact that it just cant be right now.
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[25 May 2005|12:10am] |
falling in love has its ups and downs until you finally get it right.
well im going through the down right now.
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[22 May 2005|05:02pm] |
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she makes me happy <3 and makes me dance endlessly under the streetlights at 3 in the morning. this feeling makes me jump up and down and makes me want to go into a public place and scream while poining at her "YES, THATS HER. IM IN LOVE WITH HER. SHE MAKES ME HAPPY AND ITS SO AMAZING."
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[20 May 2005|02:57pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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fall out boy-get busy living or get busy dying |
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i feel sad. i feel i cant be the way i want to be with you because of that kid. its like hes holding you back, and hes your ex boyfriend. and hes a dick to you, he shouldnt matter but he does and it sucks. i dont know whats going on.
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